Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Life after Kingdom of Shadows

I watched last night as Kingdom of Shadows aired nationwide on PBS stations. I said something at the end of the film I now regret. It was true and it was sincere at the time, but I see things differently today.

I see a sick man in that film. Tired. Weak. Hanging on to sobriety like it’s the last sacrament on earth. I see a man beat down by the laws of our society.

Life has kicked my ass since.

At one point I suffered what I thought was a heart attack and was hospitalized only to learn that nothing was wrong with my heart; I was stressed to the point of breaking and my body shut down.

I left that hospital, after two days without a single prescription or treatment. Later, a local doctor issued me a prescription for Zanex.

I don’t take that shit.

So it went into the cabinet. I’d had dizzy spells, warning signs, preceding the event for several weeks. The signs returned.

I tried half a low-dose Zanex. First and last time. It does not work for me. I don’t like the way it makes me feel.

Shortly after New Year’s Day, 2016, while everyone else was swearing off drugs and habits, I smoked a joint. 29 years without a drink or a puff.

Since, I have tried a sip of whiskey.

They work and that’s why people use them. Both present harmful side effects, especially in an industrial environment.

I also got off my ass and went back to working hard, physically.

I feel better.

It’s not drugs I hate, it’s the goddamned business.

I am sick of the way we as a society treat drug users.

I am sick of cops and judges and lawyers and probation officers and prisons. I am sick of slimy fucks preying on immigrants, addicts. I am sick of cartels. 

I am sick of apathetic people that allow this evil to persist among us.

The war on drugs is a war on ourselves.

End it.



  1. Really liked the PBS film. Agree with your ideas and ideals.

  2. Also watched and appreciated the PBS offering. Also want to give you my emotional support (for what it is worth) in your continuing life progress. Would like to see you back to blogging more...in my 84 years I have found few that frequently address the problems and goals in life that I appreciate. You are one of the few. Hang tough!

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  5. EoP v WiP NWO Neg Corr to Unrepentant Cowboy: Life after Kingdom of Shadows; posted to: EoP v WiP NWO Negotiations: Unrepentant Cowboy.

  6. How"s your world since you picked up weed and whiskey ? any repercussions ?

    1. Yes. Side effects are troubling, but the police state I live in is the main problem. Anyone straying from the herd becomes a target.

  7. How"s your world since you picked up weed and whiskey ? any repercussions

  8. Really a beautiful blog.It is very astonishing and marvelous design.